WOULD YOU BELIEVE that here I am a guy who isn't really sure what his real name is, who doesn't have a place to live, who doesn't know where he ought to live and who doesn't know what kind of work he should do? Well, believe it or not, it's true - and that's where you come in. To put it simply, I need your help. You know, help - like in HELP! O.K., let's take my problems one at a time. Please read them, and then write and tell me what you think I should do. First off, my full real name is Peter Blair Denis Bernard Noone (also called "Peebeedeebee" by a few very close friends and a handful of local nuts whom I call my buddies - you'll have to figure out what it means for yourself). As you probably know by now, my chosen professional name is Herman (which can also be pronounced 'Erman or 'Oiman - depending on wherever you come from - Manchester, England, or Brooklyn, New York). Anyway, in our movie, Hold On, I was billed as Peter Blair Noone. Now, last but not least, deep in my heart there is what I call my real name, the name that I like most of all to be called - and that is Pete Noone. That's what all me school chums called me, and I guess it kind of stuck. So, as you can see, I have got quite a problem. An overabundance of names is a bigger hang-up than not having any name at all. Which name do you like best? What do you think I should do? Should I be my full real name, one of my many nicknames, a combination of names, (maybe Herman for singing and Peter Blair Noone if I go into acting?) - or should I just forget the whole thing? Secondly (now that I have - I trust - your undivided attention), I don't have anywhere to live. A short while back, the family and I decided to buy a house somewhere away from where we'd lived all our lives. So I went tooting off to Switzerland to buy a chalet. I picked out two really lovely houses, complete with snow-capped mountains and all, and about this time the British Government decided that British subjects are not allowed to spend more than 50 pounds (that's about 150 American dollars) abroad. It's pretty easy to figure out that no shrewd Swiss is going to sell me or you or anybody a whole great, big house for a mere $150. So that scotched my plans to move to Switzerland. Shortly after my Swiss misunderstanding, I spent a few weeks on Jersey Island, a British property in the English Channel near France. The island is a charming resort about fives miles square where many   English people vacation for three months out of the year. The island is hilly, so most of the houses are built half on rocks and half on stilts. You know, like you see houses that arc perched on the side of a mountain. Anyway, I found one house that I liked and my parents and two little sisters Suzie and Louise, came down for a week. During this week we found out that no property on Jersey Island could be insured because of landslides. I don't have to tell you what the family's reaction to that was. We packed up our suitcases, waved good-bye to Jersey, and sailed off into the sunset - back to merry olde England. Presently, my folks and I are scouring an area called Kent, which is 50 miles east of London. It is relatively unpopulated farming land. Before I left for my last trip to America, I looked at a load of lovely farm cottages and estates, but that's as far as I got. Now, I'm leaving it up to my mum and dad, who by the way, have just moved into a new house one-half mile away from our old house in Huyton, Liverpool. Just where we will eventually live is up to them. I think they favor Kent. But my problem isn't where I'm going to live on the other side of the Atlantic -it's where I'm going to live in America. I love this country and hope to work here at least six months out of the year. I am thinking of getting an apartment in New York or renting a house in Los Angeles. I have got to have a "station" in either one of those cities. Maybe you can help me decide -can you? Lastly, I need your help regarding my work. Without a doubt, the Hermits and I will continue to make records ad infinitum. But the thing I'm confused about is whether to continue to do one-nighters and concerts all over America, or to concentrate on going into television and movies. A performer really can't do both areas well. It's gotta be either those live performances or movies and TV shows. On the live performances you get more of a personal contact with the kids whom you meet, but you don't really reach as many as you would if you did movies or TV shows. Naturally, I am in a quandary about where to go in that area of my career. Help? Yes - it looks like I do need it very much. So -like I said before - when you read my story, if you feel like it take a little time and sit down and tell me what you think I should do. Write soon - and I look forward to hearing from you. You can write to me in care of my sister: Denise Webb, 68 Accacia Avenue, Huyton, Liverpool, England.

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