What would you do if you opened up your stocking on Christmas Day and found Herman inside waiting to spend the day with you? Faint, most probably. But what sort of a day could you expect to share with a bundle of fun like Manchester's matey Herman?
    ... Ideally, Herman would like to start "a great big party - anyone can come - on Christmas Eve, spend £1,000 on food and drink and keep it going right through to New Year's Eve." But, of course, as you're only coming into his life on Christmas Day, he'd have to forget that idea.
    .... Herman likes to be up at nine, so if you open your stocking about then, it would help. He's very much in favour of kissing under the mistletoe - or maybe he's just in favour of kissing - so that would take up an hour or two.
    ... His only experience of buying presents for girls has been with his sisters ("I'm a lousy chooser, so I take them out and let them find some clothes or something.") So don't expect too much. Give him cufflinks ("I always lose them") or ties ("I haven't got any. I'm always having them ripped off. Very painful it is, too.")
    ... The Christmas dinner wouldn't be chicken or turkey - "That's dead dull, isn't it? I mean, every year you have the same thing. Soft rum pudding and cake that they baked months before just for that one day."
    ... Herman would like Afghanistan steak. Without a sweet to follow. "I never eat pudding, anyway."
    ... The afternoon is the real let-down of your Christmas Day. Herman is a football fiend. He'd be off to Old Trafford to watch Manchester United. Since he doesn't think a football ground is the place for girls you'd be stuck at home with his Mum for two hours. He has a very nice Mum, but that hardly compensates.
    ... Incidently, last Christmas she gave Herman his favourite present ever. A baby sister.
    "One day, I want to be the first man on the moon," he yelled.
    ... After tea he'd take you to a show.
    ... his best suggestion for this year is to flip across to The Royalty, Chester, where he just happens to be playing the title role in Dick Whittington. ("I'd have played the cat, but I can't dance.") And then ... the day would wind up with an all-night party.
    ... His idea of an all-night party is one that goes on for six months. If you showed that you're a go-go-go girl, you might end up with a Goodbye kiss ... but only after seeing that there are egg and chips waiting on the table at home for his supper. What a way to round off Christmas Day. But then, if you're a romantic, you're in for a very bad time with the down-to-earth Herman. You have to be as happy-go-lucky as he is to really get a kick out of his way of spending Christmas. Anyway, if Herman's head should pop out of your stocking, try and give him a good Christmas at home. He usually goes to Switzerland skiing with his family. "It's Dad's idea," he says. "I don't think he likes Christmas."
    See what you're up against?